Anyhoo, here's what Lazy Jenn sent-
Martha says: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
I say: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!
Martha says: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
I say: Buy mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha says: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
I say:Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!
Martha says: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'
I say: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it!'
Martha says: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
I say:Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha says: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
I say: The frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.
Martha says: Cure for headaches = take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
I say: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!
Martha says: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
I say: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha says: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
I say: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!